jux a failure

just a post from a loser..a failure :

i hate myself...
for not being able to do the simplest thing in the world..
i hate myself..
for not being to achieve what others can...
i hate myself..
for not being able to jump as far as normal people could..
i hate myself..
for not being to score like other in tests despite the same amount of hardwork..
i hate myself..
for not making the right choices..
i hate myself..
for not understanding a single thing taught in lectures..
i hate myself..
for not having a good memory for studying..
i hate myself..
for learning and doing homework slow..
i hate myself..
for all the bad grades and failures i gt..
i hate myself..
for not being disciplined enough..
i hate myself..
for not being able to learn smart..
i hate myself..
for not being able to grow taller..
i hate myself..
for crying easily..
i hate myself..
for losing to others.. especially the slacking ones...
i hate myself..
for disappointing my parents...

i hate myself..
im a failure...

a millions whys
i asked myself..
why don't i reap what i sowed..
where does the problems lies..
y can the slackers score so well..

first time i felt so disgraceful on seeing my test marks..
i let myself and my family down..
that phone call from teacher to dad reallly hurts me..
i lost..i failed..i disgraced..
such a thing must not happen in my life
the expectations dad had on me..
im sorry... really sorry..

tears ive bottled up for so long..
finally let them out at one go..
may them wash away my useless brain cells and sadness..

the world is sick of me..
im sick of myself..and my life..
maybe leaving this world can relief my pain...